To Become a Birdbrain

While I'm still sleep-deprived and therefore less inhibited I thought I might as well announce my foray into the ranks of Twitter. Two weeks ago I hadn't the slightest intention of following in the footsteps of Twitter users who, according to the scathing stereotypes, inform their beleaguered friends and the world of such thrilling events as "Just had a sandwich!!1!" whilst littering these effusions with typos and horrendous contractions like "lol."

But Facebook is royally peeving. The reason I went on there was mainly so that people could keep up contact with me if they wanted to, and because I needed closure on high school. On the other hand it disturbs me that the information I give the website is so voluminous and personal in nature, and that access to it can be left wide open to the general public whenever a brilliant redesign of the privacy settings occurs; it disturbs me to know how much I could find out about other people, and so far I've religiously only looked at photos, etc., where I was wholly sure that the person wouldn't mind; and I don't like the compulsion to chase popularity just like in the high school I was trying to get closure on, nor the fact that a "Facebook friend" is a very different thing from a real friend. As therapy to overcome feeling despised and isolated in school, Facebook has been great, just because I have to confront it and because if someone picks up contact it seems like they can't entirely hate me, but I find it difficult to write updates or notes about links as naturally as I would if my Facebook friends were, let's say, my brothers. Besides it's depressing to be aware that the things that really interest and inspire me may be received as deadly dull and irritating clutter in the newsfeed of someone else.

On Twitter, by contrast, I am a total stranger and I (not being a celebrity or being connected to a network of friends there) don't have to prove anything to anybody. If the mood strikes to "tweet" something myself, I can practice condensing thoughts into short and entertaining sentences, which is especially good practice for someone who writes longwindedly and likes to qualify her statements. If people like what I write I earn their attention and (virtual) conversation fairly. Aside from that, and as importantly, I can keep up to date on magazine and newspaper articles, press releases and other information from charities, and publicly available videos and event announcements from cultural organizations, governments, etc. Besides I can remain in touch with the projects and thoughts of actors and other famous people whom I admire, and be certain that the information they are sharing is not unduly personal and is freely given to the world at large, and that I don't have to be a pain in the neck or support the tabloids and other intrusive press to find it.

So far among the people whom I follow on Twitter the most consistently amusing is Armando Iannucci; most gently didactic Martha Stewart, who is currently travelling in southeast Asia and whose reports and photos are National Geographic in miniature; most informative of events like a press conference with David Cameron and Angela Merkel is Downing Street 10 [Number10gov]; most filled with righteous indignation the Reverend Al Sharpton; and the most absorbed in peace and love and projects for furtherance of the same is undoubtedly Yoko Ono.

There are plenty of other interesting people, like Karl Lagerfeld who in resemblance to Carine Roitfeld and Anna Wintour writes brief declarations of his life and fashion philosophies with a humourlessness which in his case is imbued with what I consider as Eeyorish gloom; actors like Susan Sarandon or authors like Zadie Smith who have sadly tired of their Twitter accounts already; and pop culture entities who figure prominently in Gawker and Jezebel and whom I happily avoid like the plague in any other context, e.g. Perez Hilton (Paris doesn't annoy me, since I think she has a real sense of humour) and the Kardashians and Lindsay Lohan (whom I like in any capacity other than her tormented tabloid persona).

Much as I have loved to watch America's Next Top Model, despite the shame of it, I have not seen the last two seasons beyond one to four episodes, and even the lure of André Leon Talley (who is also on Twitter) did not cure my thorough disenchantment, and I am following neither OfficialALT nor Tyra Banks. But I am following Toccara Jones, a third-season contestant who had an understated manner subtly concealing a vast aplomb, and who had a spread in Italian Vogue's (*sigh* ) "black" issue.

Apart from that, the humanitarian organizations and NGOs which I follow include UNHCR and UNICEF and NAACP, and it feels jolting but very good (though of course I haven't lifted a finger to help anybody yet) to be aware of what is happening in the world at large again. Then, as a cultural calendar, I follow museums, musicians, symphonies and magazines.

I'm relaxing my death grip on Anglosaxonia and specifically American culture a little, but frankly Twitter seems far more developed on that continent and the scepter'd isle than in Germany and Europe on the whole. So while I can heartily recommend Twitter feeds for continental museums like the Prado and Rijksmuseum, I have limited my German followings to Tip magazine.

Anyway, I've enjoyed myself hugely so far, though trawling through the lists of people whom famous interesting people are following in order to find more famous interesting people to follow one's self can be not only an odd (and seemingly hoity-toity) thing to do but also a major pain. Fortunately I already know what hashtags, etc., are and how they work, and have no trouble on that count.

P.S.: One must be aware, of course, of imperfections like spam Twitter accounts and stolen identities. At least the stolen identities can be highly amusing and essentially benign, like "Mrs. Stephen Fry," whose bewigg'd daguerreotype already hints that something is rotten in the state of Denmark.