More Football: Polish vs Northern Irish in Nice

After gaping aghast at Vedran Ćorluka's red-tinged head bandages and open rivulets of blood in Croatia vs. Turkey, and feeling quite seasick by the end of the game, I was relieved at the prospect of a new game to weaken the memory of it. I am late at watching the game, however, since I felt hungry and therefore fried a banana pancake for myself.

6:34 p.m. It appears that Northern Ireland's team strategy is to surround any Polish player who has the ball in their half with three players, wheeling madly with their legs and not particularly striving for any economy of motion. I feel that this is a stupid sort of game.

6:42 p.m. Perhaps this might be a decent rugby match, if a) tripping and grasping shoulders and b) knocking bodily into opponents and c) running around were the single aim of rugby.

6:46 p.m. Half-time is whistled and players clap as they walk off the field. Why, I ask grumpily. Why?

7:03 p.m. Fans are tooting horns as if at a truck rally, which in my view illustrates the childish level we are at. The German commentator is condescendingly shocked that a Polish player isn't doing better when faced by two players from a team in the third English league.

7:07 p.m. Poland's team, after 'dominating' with two-thirds ball possession in the first half of the game, finally scores a goal in the second half.

7:10 p.m. I see Chinese advertising on the side of the field. Thanks to my Mandarin lessons, I can decipher Zhong Guo (Middle Kingdom = China).

7:13 p.m. More rugby 'soccer.'

7:15 p.m. In addition to ball possession statistics, for instance, I'd like to know statistics as to how often players were lying on the ground after tripping or being tripped in this game. Opposing player has the ball? No problem, and no need to actually run around him, wriggle away the ball, let a teammate come from the front to kick the ball away, or put forth any kind of effort that requires imagination or skill. Bash him good!

7:19 p.m. This afternoon's Croatia vs. Turkey match is looking even finer and smarter and more congenial (there was fouling and tripping, but polite fouling followed by sincere apologies if the perpetrator felt that he had gone too far, and lots of actual footwork and dexterity during the duelling) by ignominious comparison.

7:31 p.m. Lafferty nears the Polish end and displays a bicycle kick, generally a pleasure to see, as the soccer ball however soars far over the goal.

7:37 p.m. A Northern Irish player defending his goal from his side's box generously kicks the ball straight back to the Polish opponent attacking from the corner.

7:44 p.m. Graceful playing and no foul in the past minute or so, and I begin rueing my mean opinions about this game . . . and then a Northern Irish player is bodychecked again, the aggressor and aggressee sprawl on the ground, and my mean opinions are but confirmed again.

7:50 p.m. At last an end to the ordeal, 1-0 Poland to Northern Ireland. I need ice cream to soothe my aggrieved nerves.