Life Ambitions

Every now and then I think of what I want from life. Often it ends up in princely-looking lists of languages I want to be familiar with, books I want to read, and so and so forth.

But at present I suppose that I can list vague aims. I want to have friendships and other relationships in which there is a give-and-take, where both people support and make the other happier, without contracting emotional debts or falling prey to great insecurities. And I also want to know a lot of people who are wise and funny and don't take themselves too seriously, generous-hearted and curious about the world, and clever. At work I want to do my work well and knowledgeably, and become more relaxed and far more helpful as a 'team leader.' (The manager has said that the main aim of a leader is to want the people in his or her team to succeed, and to help them to do better. Which is very sage, but I'm finding it hard to translate it into practice.) I want to become more well-rounded in sports and films and many other subjects, so that I don't cut off sources of enjoyment and interest, and so that I can talk well with others about things they are passionate about.

And, at home, I want to write and play music and draw childish pictures, and daydream about books that I read on the U-Bahn, and investigate political and social problems in newspapers and on the internet in general, and perhaps also add to the comfort of my family.