Spring Flowers, Journalistic Inquiries, and Workplace Diplomacy

It turns out that leaving a company is more awkward than expected... The paperwork, so far fine. Saying goodbye to colleagues individually, even a nice opportunity to chat with them again after a long time. Looking forward to hopefully seeing teammates quite as well outside of work, comforting. Thinking of everything needed before I leave, fine because I left myself quite a bit of time to jot down and remember things as different tasks etc. arise.

But on Friday and Monday I engaged in single combat with higher-ups about something... It ended amicably enough, and I wasn't kicked out of my email and messenger accounts as I thought I would be. There is a nice surprise that the former managing director had thought up as a farewell gesture, which I won't spill the beans on until it's formally announced tomorrow.

But everything else was stressful. I ended the day with a tension headache, and I woke up this morning knowing that I was in no shape to work. I applied for a sick day.

I feel guilty about planning to go to choir practice after a sick day. But I think it will distract me enough to pull myself together for the last week and a half on the job. Also, it's not very far away so I won't need to worry about swooning off my bicycle. (I was wondering if walking might be wiser.)

When I stepped out the apartment door to get the obligatory Covid test (obligatory if I want to attend choir practice, that is) at the pharmacy down the street, I did find that my anxiety was so severe that I could barely walk at first. Which at least confirmed, if confirmation were needed, that I hadn't been malingering.

Anyway, the daffodils are out, hyacinths too to a lesser degree, and the earliest red-and-yellow tulips are already in flower.

I've been quite busy after working hours and during the sick day. Today I made the payment for my card to guest audit courses at university until I can formally apply to become a student again for the Fall/Winter semester.

Yesterday evening I sent off an inquiry to see if a Canadian newspaper would be interested in printing articles that I'd write about an international sporting event that'll be happening in summer in Berlin.

In between, I'm further researching a World War I book, refreshing my Greek, playing the piano again, doing volunteer proofreading for a non-profit website, and practicing typewriting. And I lay down for a while, and chatted with the brothers and Mama.

And, after a months-long lull in baking and cooking, I boiled eggs *and* made myself a pot of tea *and* made porridge for lunch.

In the past weeks I've felt really bad about 'abandoning' colleagues and worried about their wellbeing. But in other ways, leaving this job and having a chance at a regular, healthy life again is... not tough at all, to be honest.

"It'll be over in 1.5 weeks anyway!" is one thought that's inspired me deeply. But I've also come across a Bible quotation [Disclaimer: No conversion or evangelism of any sort is intended] that I'm hoping will be a helpful motto whenever I feel overwhelmed at the thought of trying to sort out the interpersonal mess at work: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."