Archaeology and Star-Gazing

The time since the last post has been happily eventful.

Finally I treated myself, when the weather permitted, to a walking tour of one of Berlin's archaeological sites in the city centre.

It was a lovely combination of bright weather, diverse site that spanned the Middle Ages (wooden latrine) through 18th century clay cellar tiles to an incredibly 'utilitarian'-looking air raid shelter from the 1930s/40s, delighted tour guests, and delighted tour guide (a heritage preservation expert who's taking active part in the excavations) who seemed to really love explaining and publicizing more the things that his colleagues and he had been discovering.

Like Heraclitus's thoughts about life being like an ever-flowing river where you never step into the same water twice, the site as this tour group saw it will have disappeared in a few weeks, most likely. The cellar tiles will be lifted to investigate a potential latrine, 19th century well likely dismantled and carried away after being documented so that a future real estate project can occupy that area, parts of the site backfilled provisionally so that they are ready to become part of an 'archäologisches Baufenster' in the real estate development — i.e. that parts of it will be preserved and displayed e.g. behind a glass window.

It was free, I didn't mind the sunburn on my arms, and the outing was generally a bit of a dream come true.

I'd been longing to go there for years. But work meetings were scheduled in that time block. So I'd been cycling past it week after week on the way to voice/business coaching/therapy sessions or to the office, looking longingly at the fence. And admittedly I almost cried with happiness when I finally cycled to it and not past it: I reflected that I was finally going not to suffer in the office, or to seek help because of work or bereavement or feelings of heavy responsibility, but to genuinely have fun.

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And since that outing I've been spending a lot of time indoors (and partly the Victoriapark) reading books.

A few of the books are related to my historical book project. But then I realized that the subject matter was becoming far too heavy for me and that 1. I needed to get out again, and 2. I needed to do something cozy and nice.

Reading about archaeology as a preparation for my possible studies in October was better but still not entirely stress-free.

So I've decided to take a break and re-read novels I'd enjoyed as a teenager.

As I told my mother, I feel like I haven't had a real summer vacation with few responsibilities and genuine freedom since I was a teenager. But now I am.

I also took time to watch the annual Perseid meteor showers out of the rear courtyard window, for example, feeling like I'm paying attention to and enjoying the months as they pass instead of enduring them in a fog.

Maybe I can really complete a job training, and become qualified in a field that's both germane and new to me. Maybe life will take an unexpected turn that still suits me beautifully. In little glimpses, like stars through the clouds, I'm beginning to like my life again.