The Worries of a Vegetable

Today it is cloudy. I think it also rained. As for me, I feel rather out of sorts. I slept until 12:30 and now that I'm awake I am -- as usual -- not doing anything much more worthwhile.

It is very difficult to summon the strength to do something purposeful and helpful. I'm not even playing the piano very well at present.

What I should be doing, I think, is occupying myself as much as possible so that I forget about myself. One of my biggest problems over the years has been being incredibly self-absorbed. Even if it doesn't make me entirely selfish, it does make me less communicative around others and it certainly isn't good for me. It also makes me lazier. I'm assuming I'll get out more once we've moved to Berlin, but I recognize that I shouldn't be sitting around on my hindquarters all day in the month that remains, and, as indicated in a previous post, I don't want to build up too many -- or any -- expectations about Berlin for fear of disappointment.

Sooner or later I plan to read Goethe's "Zauberlehrling" with my littlest brother. But I don't want to pressure him, and there are many other things I could be doing. One thing I won't be doing is reading the news. I did that for hours yesterday and I am presently current-events-saturated. This evening, at any rate, I'll continue reading Agatha Christie's autobiography. It seems I was not very perceptive the last time I read it, because this time I'm struck by how excellently written and entertaining and content-rich it is.

Anyway, I feel better now -- well enough to take the suggestions I've been formulating for the last half hour!