Top Models and Youthful Innocence

Having been of the cheerful opinion for the past week at least that I have finally lost any interest in watching America's Next Top Model, it was a bit of a surprise when I was looking at the most popular videos on YouTube, spotted the season premiere of that television show, thought "Oo!" and then "Why not?", and in a moment found myself immersed in the premiere. So often I have wondered why I still watch this show, and found the last three seasons mediocre in the absence of the rich psychological studies and compellingly endearing winners that made Seasons 6 and 7 so worthwhile. But this season is promising to be fairly good again. I watched part of Germany's Next Top Model too, but find it a little too trashy, and don't find that the contestants are as palpably individual and interesting as their American counterparts. Besides, one tires of hearing the word "krass" after the first billion iterations.

At any rate, this cycle of ANTM begins at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. Never mind that I find the Romans to be a tribe of philistines, and willingly consign the lifestyle of their wealthy to the long dead past, nor like Las Vegas much either from what I've seen and heard of it; it was amusing to see the pomp. Still I internally groaned and groaned as a chanting row of centurions marched onto a walkway over a swimming pool, and then Tyra Banks emerged from their number in toga-esque garb and billowing hair to declare herself the "Goddess of Fierce" to a scarily hyperemotional, screaming group of girls.

At an interval after this formal introduction, the girls come into a room one by one to be interviewed by Tyra, the runway coach Miss J, and the photo shoot director(?) Jay Manuel. As is inevitable, each individual's life is boiled down into "their story." The Kenyan contestant is told that she was chosen because of her beautiful dark skin, which makes Tyra sound not unlike a taxidermist but does not seem to worry Sandra at all. Then there is Angelea, a girl from New York or Jersey who has already had and lost a baby, and who gets in a shouting match with Sandra. Because she is "ghetto" and perforce slept in the Port Authority building and only possesses a little over forty dollars, she is unfairly blamed for the shouting match and reported to Tyra as a troublemaker. In my view this continues the show's trend of blaming people for their tough exterior, even though they either cannot help it, must have it in order to survive, or both. Anyway, there is a girl who comes from Puerto Rico and is an obligingly extroverted Latina (there are no nuances in national or ethnic identity in the world of ANTM), a spate of small-town girls, etc., etc., and of course a girl who is suffering from an illness (this season it's epilepsy; in the past ailments like lupus and Asperger's have had their moment in the spotlight).

Then the lucky number of contestants is chosen, sporting gilded laurel wreaths in their hair, and they weep with joy whereas the less fortunate weep with disappointment. Angelea is among the latter number, and at this point I, metaphorically speaking, mutter angrily. Amid much squealing, which is an unfailing and puzzling accompaniment to almost any activity in ANTM, the girls fly to New York. They are staying in an apartment on the Upper East Side, at which point I think about the expense thereof and about how fortunate the girls would be if they weren't going to spend the coming weeks being put through their paces in a human circus (a second-rate version of the Cirque du Soleil, if you will).

The first photo shoot is about one of Tyra Banks's Causes. These causes are quite as faddish and change quite as frequently as her hairstyles (speaking of which, she is no longer imitating Victoria Beckham's bob). One season it was global warming and the girls were ferried about in an apparently windowless van as if they were vegetables en route to a grocery; the next season it was something else and the girls were ferried about in a heavyweight stretch limousine. The Cause for this photo shoot is the disparition of childish innocence amidst the onslaught of premature sexualization. So the girls have to dress up in pigtails and curtailed childish clothes, and hop and skip about Central Park in fancy-free juvenile pursuits, like dodgeball and musical chairs and hide-and-seek, as behind them loom the degraded, threatening figures of three prematurely aged "bad girls."

One of the "bad girls" has committed the sin of teenage pregnancy; at this point I am seriously irritated. I detest the tendency to label teenage mothers as stupid or sluttish. Their situation can be, and often is, so hard that I think that they have a far greater claim to consideration and respect than (most of) the rest of us. Then I hate the habit of moralizingly blaming people for their misfortunes. Being born into the bourgeoisie is -- and this may surprise some people -- not in itself a virtue. Thirdly, I don't think it should be considered a misfortune to bring another little being into the world, as long as one does one's best to care for it and society doesn't do its best to sour the experience.

At any rate, the episode ends in the customary manner, with a judging session. The girls appear before Tyra, Miss J, the photographer Nigel Barker, and Czech model Paulina Porizkova, who proffer their commentary on the girls' attire and self-presentation and photos. Then the judges de-li-be-rate (as Tyra invariably puts it) and decide which of the contestants they will kick off. This week it is Isabella, an agreeable chirpy individual who is let go in preference to Sandra. The current theory is that Sandra has been retained to be the designated villain of this cycle of ANTM, which does appear likely as she is prone to the typical villain traits of inaccurate self-assessment and egocentrism. But Sandra does have a distinctive face and temperament, so, though I do not like her as much as Isabella, it seems to me that someone else should have been voted out this week. At least Isabella, delivering the soliloquy with which every parting contestant leaves the show, was not a mess of tears and wounded ego, but good-humoured and optimistic. She is one of the ones who display magnanimity in (temporary) defeat.

Long story short, I am watching this season.