A Headache Holiday, of Sorts

Yesterday I had a migraine headache after spending the morning volunteering in a clothing donation sorting hall. I spent most of the afternoon crouched over the desk still doing work, massaging my forehead with my fingertips, and eating something despite the nausea.

This morning I awoke earlier than usual, feeling topsy-turvy in the middle too, and decided to take a whole sick day from work.

So on the whole I've been very carefully doing only undemanding things that don't make me feel ill, and it's been sort of nice. Lots of reading, staring at my plants and making sure they are watered; a long nap that might not be a miracle cure but still ...; hanging out with one of my brothers a little bit; watching the British archaeological TV series, eating ice cream; and playing a bit of Scott Joplin, and German dances from Beethoven, on the piano.

In the morning I even read half or so of a Chekhov short story, which has generally felt too grown-up and brooding for my mood. I've also managed to read more of a journalist's account of the 2011 uprising in Syria, No Turning Back. I'd usually read it in smaller rations because I've always felt that reading sad books when I already feel sad is not what I need except as a character-building thing. But in the context of Ukraine and the Palestinian Territories it made me reflect on how quickly the lives of civilians can be devalued in the eyes of the outside world if it's felt that 'war is always going on in those places.' For example I think even Ukraine might be an example: if I understand correctly, much concern and attention have been expended on Mariupol, Kharkiv, Kyiv and its surrounding villages, Lviv and Odesa — when other areas in Luhansk and Donetsk, maybe even Crimea, which have seen conflict since 2014 if I remember correctly, have surely suffered too in the past months.

It has been too dry this spring, and even today the mixture of sun and dark thunderclouds didn't bring forth much rain. But the oak leaves outdoors are growing greenly, my new nasturtium seedling indoors seems to be rising in height an inch per day, and whenever I have gone out it's been lovely to see the columbines and early roses and many, many other flowers at the roadsides and in the plant beds.