The Friendlier Face of Bureaucracy

On Thursday I set off into the near 30°C temperatures to the Gesundheitsamt in order to watch two instructional videos about food safety and certification, and then to receive a certificate.

It was organized on the fourth floor of an office building. The interior was cool enough that it wasn't a hardship to walk up the flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator. First we were sorted into a waiting room. Amidst the pleasant wooden furniture that reminded me of a pediatrician's waiting room in the early 1990s, I became aware that the other applicants were younger than I was (some of them likely even still in school or recently graduated). Then we went one by one to the office to pay the 30€ fee and verify that our name and birthdate were accurate.

After that, we took our seats in a room where the videos were screened. Rows of chairs, two leafy potted plants taller than I was whereof one was alive and one dead (like the comedy and tragedy masks in theatre), a desk fan that had the seal of the City of Berlin stuck to its centre (presumably to discourage us from smuggling it home under our coats and calling it our own), blinds covering the open windows and a faint hum of traffic wafting in, and a coffee table or two, completed the interior design. We were something like 20 people at the end.

The videos were painless. Admittedly some of the acting in it had a touch of ham in scenes that required agonizedly swiping at a perspiring brow and clutching the solar plexus. The first one told us which foods were the most perishable, which illnesses and health conditions are dangerous, and how to behave if we feel sick or have an open wound. The second walked us through our certificate and told us that we needed to get it sealed and signed by an employer within 3 months, in order for it to be valid for the rest of our lives.

Finally, we returned to the office to receive the certificates. The ladies in charge were warm and friendly: one of them came up close and half-touched my elbow to greet me, and another wished me success as she handed me the paper.

Delighted to be ready early, I went back home at 11:30 a.m. — long before the temperatures rose to 38°C toward the evening. At home I was even more delighted to find that the student app seems to confirm the food safety certificates on our behalf. So that essentially I have fulfilled and will fulfill a basic precondition for food and service industry jobs for the rest of my days.

Since the bicycle transport work I haven't done another job ... yet. But I have made progress on university coursework: researching the Greek-Russian literature essay and reading the Kapodistrias biography. And, relieved to have so many chances at work where people actually need and want me, I have felt quite cheeky and good-humoured.